Dumb Truckers
While driving along the back roads of a small town, two Arkansas truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11'3". They got out and measured their rig, which was 12'4".
"What do you think?" one asked the other.
The driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first.
"Not a cop in sight. Let's take a chance!"
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Dumb Texans
On a shopping trip to the city a backwoods farmer bought a 24-piece jigsaw puzzle. He worked on it every night for two weeks. Finally, the puzzle was finished.
"Look what I've don, Jess," he said proudly to a visiting neighbor.
"That's surely somethin', Willard. How long did it take you?"
"Only two weeks."
"Never done a puzzle myself," Jess said. "Is two weeks fast?"
"Darn tootin'," Willard said. "Look at the box. It says, 'From two to four years."